


Hidden Desires

by perfect_cadence (Perfect_Cadence)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Brotherly Clarus & Cor, Cor hides his sexuality, Cor/OMC, First Generation Chocobros, First Time, Kink Meme, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Clarus and Regis have Cor's back, some mention of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-26 15:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12062058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perfect_Cadence/pseuds/perfect_cadence
Summary: After falsely being told that same sex relationships resulted in expulsion from the Crownsguard, a young Cor Leonis fearfully hides his sexuality for fear of losing the family he's come to treasure.Epilogue added.





	1. A frightening realisation

"Don’t stand there staring, shrimp. They kick queers out of the Crownsguard, you know!”

Cor couldn't remember exactly when Gaius Antonius said it to him, but he knew it was within his first few months of securing a place on the Crownsguard at thirteen. He’d mislaid his locker key and had been scouting around the busy changing room when the older man had made his remark. The meaning went over his head at the time, though of course he’d been aware that Antonius was a cruel, bullying dick who’d been giving Cor a hard time ever since he’d joined.

Having survived more or less on his own since his mother died when he was nine, Cor’s early adolescence had been focussed relentlessly on being good enough to become one of the guard. As such, concepts of love, human sexuality and the like were total unknowns that he'd never dwelt upon. He’d found his locker key soon afterwards and thought no more about it.

Until he was fifteen and, soon after returning from his roadtrip with Regis, Clarus and the others, he'd realised that he was attracted to men.

It had started innocuously enough. He’d been watching TV with Clarus one evening, some period drama that the Shield enjoyed and Cor liked to tease him about. The hero and the heroine had just confessed their love for one another and gone tumbling into bed. The hero, a handsome man with dark, curly hair, knelt on the bed to tug his billowing shirt over his head, exposing a smooth, flawless chest.

_Wow, he’s gorgeous,_ Cor thought and then started in surprise. Where the fuck had that come from?!

He glanced hurriedly at Clarus to see if his surrogate older brother had noticed anything. But thankfully, the man’s eyes were glued to the TV; thoroughly enjoying the sentimental climax of the story.

Later that night, as Cor had touched himself in the shower, his hand sliding up and down his manhood as he braced himself against the tiled wall, the hero’s face had popped into his mind. Curly dark hair rumpled, cheeks flushed and eyes hooded with pleasure; his tanned, bare torso heaving with excitement, staring down at Cor the way he’d stared at the heroine…

Cor whimpered as he came hard in his hand, hips stuttering to a halt. Oh hell, he thought feverishly, as the water washed the evidence of his climax away.

_"They kick queers out of the Crownsguard you know…"_

The sharp, mocking voice of years ago made its way into his head unbidden, and Cor felt himself go cold all over, even though his shower was set to a high heat. It didn’t mean anything, he told himself firmly. It had just been a one off. He’d touched himself before and never thought of anyone at all. It wouldn’t happen again.

But it took him several hours before his anxiety had died down long enough to sleep.


	2. Decisions

The next time he touched himself, a few days later, Cor determinedly tried to think of a woman…any woman would do, apart from Aulea or Clarus’s wife Vidia. But it didn’t work; the more he fixated on breasts and curves and the more secret places that some of the other guards had shown him in magazines, the more his erection wilted. He tried to imagine kissing one of the maidens of the court and realised with a rush of panic that he didn’t actually really want to.

He tried watching porn. He knew Clarus would flip if he found out Cor was accessing some of the more X-rated sites at fifteen; the Shield had assumed the role of his older brother post-road trip with all the protectiveness of a mother lion. In most circumstances, it touched Cor, and he made great efforts to make sure he was never at odds with Clarus. He had to work around the rules this time though, typing a fake age into the website, he had to know…

Conventional porn did nothing for him, much as he tried to be aroused by the moaning, vocal videos. He tried lesbian porn and liked that even less. Then, shaking, knowing he was only going to torture himself, he tried a gay video.

The two men were both young and fit, probably in their early twenties. Their skin shone in a way that suggested they'd been oiled up, displaying their taut muscles to best advantage. They were kissing languidly, open mouthed and wet, while their hard manhoods rubbed against one another. They made continuous, pleased little whimpers into each other's mouths.

Heat flooded Cor’s veins at the sight and he felt his own cock stirring in his pyjama bottoms. He sat on his hands before he could give into the urge to touch. He needed to turn this off. 

He didn’t.

The taller man, blond and blue eyed, smirked smoulderingly at his partner and slid to his knees. He kissed the tip of the other man’s cock and then…oh gods... leaned in to take it in his mouth. His partner groaned in pleasure and the blond man swirled his tongue around the length before lavishing attention on the swollen head. He began to bob his head back and forth, reaching down to stroke his own cock in tandem.

Cor shuddered and felt wet heat flood his boxer-briefs as the men in the video came. There was a warm contentedness in his body for about two seconds, before abject panic and terror took hold. He hadn’t needed to touch himself. He’d been so turned on by the sight of two men pleasuring each other that he’d come right in his pants. _Oh Gods, oh gods, oh gods._ Tears began to sting at his eyes.

_"They kick queers out of the Crownsguard you know…"_

He couldn’t deny what he was now, not with the evidence of his shame cooling stickily in his underwear. Cor sobbed as he stripped them off and stuffed them in his laundry basket, and was crying harder by the time he got into the shower.

If anyone found out about this, his entire world was over! The Crownsguard was his life. It had given him purpose, meaning, a reason for being. More than that... it had brought him a family. Cor had never had siblings as a child, but when he’d joined that journey to Accordo, he’d found two older brothers. Regis and Clarus had let him know on no uncertain terms that he was part of their family now, and they treated him accordingly. Regis was good-humoured, encouraging and caring; Clarus fiercely protective, affectionate and tactile. 

Bad enough to lose his position in the guard, but to lose Clarus and Regis too…Cor wasn’t sure he’d survive losing another family and being alone all over again! And seeing disgust and contempt in faces which normally looked at him with pride and affection would surely kill him.

No one could know what he was, he told himself angrily. No one.

The more strategic part of his brain overrode his frenzied panic. This could be managed. It did not have to ruin everything. No one would ever suspect he was attracted to men if he never permitted himself to dally with one. And when his brothers, or any of the other guard members, teased him about finding a girlfriend, he would tell them that his duties were his life. 

Yes, Cor decided, forcing calm upon himself. Celibacy was the answer. And no one would ever know the truth.


	3. A Spanner in the Works

With the same determination that he applied to every other aspect of his life, Cor managed in this way until he turned twenty one. He steered clear of romantic entanglements, brushed off every offer to set him up on dates, and cried with shame on the rare occasions where he permitted himself pleasure at his own hand, thinking of hard muscles and strong arms. Otherwise, he cured his arousal with cold showers.

Halfway through his twenty first year, Regis announced that he was to take the position of Marshal of the Crownsguard at the beginning of winter when Marshal Lucius retired. He would be the youngest holder of the post in history. Regis squeezed his shoulder and said that Cor had grown into an exceptional young man he was pleased to call his brother. Clarus had nearly hugged his head off and told him he was ‘fit to fucking burst with pride, kid’. Cor was deeply honoured and more determined than ever to not ever be a source of shame to these two wonderful men.

The week before he was due to be sworn in, Insomnia’s annual winter gala was held at the Citadel. Regis had insisted that Cor attend as a guest, not a guard, and made sure that he was not on duty; saying that it was important he get to know some of the dignitaries he would have to interact with when he came into his new post.

Clarus’s wife Vidia, who had decided as soon as she met Cor that he apparently needed a mother figure, fussed over his clothes and insisted on taking him to get a new suit. When he’d looked over to Clarus for help, more than a little alarmed, the burly shield had just shrugged and said with a rueful grin: “Pick your battles, little brother. That’s the secret to staying alive. Have fun shopping!”

A harrowing afternoon of endless shopping later, and Cor had Vidia-approved new formal wear fit for the ball. Usually on such occasions before, he'd been standing like a statue at one of the doors and not moved all night. He found himself almost beginning to look forward to this one.

Until the ambassadors from other kingdoms started to arrive and he laid eyes on Florizel Treville from Tenebrae. 

An aide to the Tenebraen ambassador, Florizel was a tall, slender young man in his mid-twenties with shining blond hair, wide blue eyes and features that might have been carved from marble. High cheekbones, elegant jaw, full, sensual lips...

He took Cor’s breath away.

Cor was part of the delegation of Crownsguard members welcoming and directing the visiting dignitaries in the king’s absence. When they were introduced, Florizel favoured Cor with a warm smile and held out his hand amiably. Dumbly, Cor shook it, his throat dry, and noticed something flicker in the blond man’s eyes. He could not read what it was, however.

“It’s a great pleasure to meet you,” Florizel’s remarked in a mellow, melodious voice. “I have heard much about the exploits of the famous Cor the Immortal. I hope we will have the chance to talk at length sometime during this visit. I gather you will be at the ball, yes?”

Cor nodded silently, any enthusiasm he'd held for the upcoming ball disappearing in an instant.


	4. Discovered

When the night of the ball arrived, far too soon for Cor’s liking, he stuck to Clarus’s side, and by extension Regis’s, as much as he was able. They teased him for it, but thankfully made no attempt to order him away.

The room was full people who had been born to their position in life; just as Regis and Clarus had been. Cor doubted that many of them would have anything in common with a kid from the poor end of Insomnia who’d fought his way up the ladder tooth and nail and vowed to hold off on the awkward socialising as long as he could. There was less chance of his bumping into Florizel that way.

He managed for a few hours, until Vidia and Aulea appeared after greeting and talking to the many guests and requested that their husbands dance at least one dance with them. Regis and Clarus acquiesced cheerfully and made to join them on the dance floor.

“And don’t you think you’re getting out of dancing, Cor Leonis!” Vidia warned him with a grin. “Once I’ve danced with Clarus, I’ll be coming to find you. Now, go and find yourself a nice girl and ask her to dance with you!”

Cor fled before she could find a partner for him, collecting a glass of wine on his way, and took refuge on the veranda. It was sharply cold, in contrast to the heat of the ballroom and Cor could see his breath misting. Before him, the sprawling Citadel gardens lay, lit with golden lamps and twinkling with frost.

“It is a beautiful sight, is it not?” asked a familiar, mellow voice, and Cor found himself spinning around to stare at the beautiful aide from Tenebrae. His cheeks flushed and he nodded. “You are not dancing?”

“It’s…um…not really my thing,” Cor replied, and winced at how stupid he sounded.

“Really?” Florizel shot him a charming smile. “I would have thought such a handsome young man much in demand!”

Cor’s heart threatened to stop. Had that _beautiful_ man just called him handsome?

“I’m being unkind and making you blush,” Florizel said apologetically. “But as neither of us are occupied, would you care to join me for a stroll in the gardens.”

“I’d be honoured,” Cor said, remembering his manners. It was important to treat the diplomatic guests with courtesy and it might be construed as rude if he refused. 

They strolled down through the rose bushes, pruned back for winter, and made their way towards the landscaped maze, usually a popular spot in the summer months.

“How do you like Insomnia thus far?” Cor enquired politely.

“I like it very well,” Florizel smiled easily again. “Its architecture is beautiful, and its citizens even more so. I hope you will not think me dreadfully forward, Master Leonis, and I apologise if I give any offence, but I could not take my eyes off you when we were introduced.”

Cor’s heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage and he obviously should never have had wine on an empty stomach because he found himself saying. “You weren’t the only one. Six, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t breathe for looking at you.”

Florizel threaded his warm, slim fingers through Cor’s and tugged him into a quiet alcove behind one of the high hedges. Then, after running a gentle thumb over Cor’s cheekbone, azure eyes heated and intense, he leaned in and kissed him.

Rational thought completely deserted Cor. All his years of self-denial, all the walls he had constructed around his desires came crumbling down in an instant. He kissed back, gently, unsurely. He’d never done this before and hoped he wasn’t awful. Florizel’s arms went around his waist and tugged him closer, his tongue tracing Cor’s lips and encouraging him to open his mouth. Cor did and felt the aide's tongue slip into his mouth. Gods, it was wonderful.

“Cor, I hope you don’t think hiding’s gonna get you out of dancing with Vidia… _shit _!” Cor sprang back like lightning from Florizel to stare at a gobsmacked Clarus, who’d just come round the corner. “Never mind, sorry!”__

__The Shield was gone again in an instant, leaving Cor staring after him, panic, anguish and sheer terror rendering him totally mute._ _

__Six, this was it. Everything he’d fought for, everything he’d achieved, over in one night._ _


	5. Confessions

“Are you all right?” Florizel asked anxiously, laying a cautious hand on his arm. “You’ve gone white as chalk. Was that…?”

“My brother,” Cor managed to croak, his mouth as dry as a desert. 

“Ah…” Florizel’s tone was kind, understanding. “He doesn’t know you’re…?”

“No one does!” Cor fought to keep tears from his voice, but his heart was thundering and he knew his hands were shaking.

“I’m so sorry!” Florizel said, genuinely distressed. “If I’d known I would cause you pain, I’d never have asked you to come out here.”

“It’s…it’s not your fault,” Cor said distractedly, struggling for breath. And it wasn’t, Florizel hadn’t forced Cor into anything. He’d kissed the man back, had wanted to kiss him more until Clarus showed up.

“Go and talk to your brother,” Florizel encouraged gently, his beautiful face full of compassion. “I can see you’re upset. I won’t keep you here. I’d like…if you wanted, that is…to see you again properly before I have to go back to Tenebrae, but if you don’t want to then I understand.”

“Thank you,” Cor said and – because he was already doomed and things could hardly get worse – he permitted himself one last peck to the man’s lips. “I don’t know where I’ll be this time tomorrow, but thank you.”

He hurried off before he could shame himself by weeping like a child and hovered around the doors to the ballroom. What if he went inside and Clarus announced what he was to all and sundry and then cast him out? Should he stay away all together?

No, Cor told himself sternly. Clarus wasn’t cruel, hadn’t ever _been_ cruel. Though Cor knew he’d be out of the guard before he ever received his new commission, Clarus wouldn’t publically humiliate him. He’d tell him in private; tell him how ashamed he was to have taken someone like Cor under his wing only to be let down, tell him he was no longer welcome, tell him to go...

Unable to face going back inside and ashamed of his cowardice, Cor hid in an empty room in the same corridor as the ballroom and waited for the event to end.

Only when the sound of people leaving the ballroom began to die down did Cor show his face. Clarus was always one of the last to leave things like this, checking that everything was secure. Sure enough, there was the dark-haired Shield, doing one last sweep of the room.

Seeing Cor, he raised his eyebrows and crooked his finger beckoningly, leading the younger man up the flight of stairs towards his office. On shaking legs, Cor followed. He stayed silent as Clarus unlocked the door and then followed him inside.

“Seems like you had quite the night!” Clarus began. Had Cor been looking at him, he’d have seen a smile, but he was staring at the floor. “Getting some at last, were…”

“Please, Clarus, I swear, I won’t do it again!” Cor blurted out, unable to wait for the axe to fall. “Don’t tell Regis. I don’t know what came over me, but it was just the once. Please don’t send me away. I’ll do whatever it takes. Anything you want. Just please, _please_ , give me another chance! I’ll go back to cadet if you want. Just don’t kick me out.”

“Woah, woah, Cor!” Clarus said hurriedly, pressing his hands gently on the younger man’s shoulders and making him sit down on the couch. “Stop right there, ok?” He went to the desk and poured a glass of brandy then brought it back to the shaking young man on his couch. “Drink this for me, and then you can tell me what you’re talking about.” 

Cor’s hands were shaking so hard that he couldn’t hold the glass steady. Clarus had to place his hands over Cor’s and titled the glass up to the young man’s mouth. Cor gulped the brandy and choked at the strength. He didn't drink very often.

“Right, kiddo,” Clarus said gently, sitting down beside him; the old nickname coming easily. “You want to tell me what that was all about?”

“I know people like me aren’t supposed to be in the Crownsguard,” Cor began, tears sliding down his face. “But I promise, it was just the once and I won’t…”

“Hold on,” Clarus raised a hand in confusion. “What are you on about: _people like you_?”

Gods, he was going to make him say it. “Men who like other men,” Cor whispered, screwing his eyes shut, unable to look at the disgust he knew was going to follow. “I never wanted you to be ashamed of me! I don’t know why I did it. But I won’t lose control like that again, I promise I won’t.”

“Wait, you think I’m mad because I saw you making out with that guy from Tenebrae earlier?” Clarus sounded distressed now. “What the fuck, Cor? You think I’m that kind of asshole?”

“They told me when I joined,” Cor rambled on, unable to stop now. “That there was no place for queers in the Crownsguard. I thought if I…”

“Cor, stop talking!” Clarus ordered sternly. Cor’s mouth snapped shut and he stared woefully at his lap. “Firstly, that is complete _bollocks_ : there has never been, or ever will be, any sort of rule dictating who members of the Crownsguard are allowed to be with. No one gives a shit, as long as everything’s between consenting adults. Who the fuck told you that?”

“Gaius Antonius,” Cor answered bewilderedly, not quite processing what Clarus was saying.

“That old prick,” Clarus snarled. “Well, he can consider himself fucking lucky he’s already dead! Why didn’t you tell me? Did you really think I would be ashamed of you just because you like guys?”

“I couldn’t risk losing you,” Cor said, voice tightening with tears again. “You and Regis are all I have. If they kicked me out, I didn’t know where I could go, and losing you would have finished me!”

“Cor, look at me!” Clarus ordered gently, cupping the younger man’s face between his hands. He waited until the teary eyes were locked on his. “I love you, kiddo, you understand that? You’re my little brother, and there’s nothing’s ever going to change that. _Nothing_. I don’t care who you love, who you kiss or who you sleep with. Literally the only thing that matters to me is that you give your consent. Someone tried to force you, _then_ we'd have a problem, but you don’t need to hide your partners from me, ok?”

“There haven’t been any. I’ve never…” Cor tried to explain, but words failed him. 

Luckily, Clarus understood. “What… _at all_?” he queried. Cor shook his head. “Aw kid, tell me that wasn’t your first kiss I ruined tonight!”

Cor nodded shyly. “I always thought if I didn’t go near anyone, no one would ever find out I liked men,” he confessed.

“Aw, Six, Cor,” Clarus sighed, tugging the younger man into his arms. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realise sooner. If I’d known, I’d have told you there was nothing to worry about. Regis isn’t going to kick anyone out for liking men; hell, he goes both ways himself!”

Cor sprang back out of the embrace in amazement. “Regis likes men?!”

“Yes,” Clarus nodded. “Before he married Aulea there were a few men. He was discreet of course, but that’s because he was heir to the throne, not because there’s anything wrong with fancying someone of the same sex. How long has this been going on? When did you realise you were gay?”

“When I was fifteen,” Cor replied.

“Six years?!” Clarus yelled, and Cor jumped. “Fucking hell, Cor. Gods, I don’t even know what to say. No wonder you looked so damn terrified. But I promise, this changes nothing between us, all right? I only want you to be happy, little brother; it doesn't matter who that’s with!”

All this time he’d be torturing himself, thinking himself a deviant, when there was no need. Clarus knew what he was and he still cared about him. Still loved him. Still wanted Cor around. He wasn’t going to be sent away. Cor pressed a hand against his mouth as he felt sobs bubble up in his chest, and tried to keep them in.

“Hey, it’s ok. I got you.” Strong, gentle arms wrapped around Cor’s lean frame. Arms that had never made him feel anything other than safe and loved since he was a skinny teenager.

He cracked. Years of anguish burst out of him in frenzied sobs, as he cried harder than he could ever remember crying in his life, holding onto someone he now knew would never let him go. He made no word of protest when Clarus rearranged them to hold Cor in his lap as though he was a gangly kid again.

He’d no idea how long he cried, but Clarus’s held him all the while; alternately stroking his hair, rubbing his back and wiping his tears away. Eventually, there was nothing left and he just sat slumped against his brother’s shoulder, utterly exhausted.

“Now, I’m only going to say this once, so you listen up! Don’t you _ever_ think you’re somehow lesser than anyone else again. And don’t you ever torment yourself like that again,” Clarus told him sternly. “Or I’ll turn you over my knee, take your pants down and blister your scrawny ass! You got me?”

Cor nodded. That had happened a fair few times over the years; Clarus didn’t have a terribly high tolerance for Cor doing himself any harm! It was two days before he could sit comfortably after Gilgamesh.

“Go on, lie down,” Clarus prompted him, voice gentle now. “You’re done for.”

“I’m fine, I can go back to my room…” Cor protested.

“You want that ass-whooping now?” Clarus challenged.

Cor hurriedly shook his head, feeling like a scolded teenager again. He obediently lay down on the couch while Clarus retrieved a blanket out of one of the many oak-panelled cupboards. 

“Go to sleep, kiddo,” said Clarus kindly, tucking the blanket snugly around him and then planting a lingering kiss on his forehead. “In the morning, we’ll talk some more. But you’ll still be my little brother, I’ll still adore you and you’re still going to be the youngest marshal in Lucian history. Ok?”

Drained, exhausted, but more at peace than he'd been in years, Cor melted into the comfortable couch, his head pillowed on a cushion. He felt a large gentle hand begin to card through his hair and allowed it to lull him into the welcoming peace of deep slumber.


	6. Chapter 6

Regis had been strolling aimlessly through the corridors of the royal wing, winding down after the hectic evening, when a series of loud bashes had drawn him down to the small training room he and Clarus used to spar in private, away from the busy Crownsguard barracks.

Inside, he found Clarus, still in his formal attire – though he had shed his jacket – systematically annihilating a training mannequin with his greatsword. Regis recognised the tense set of his shoulders…his Shield was _pissed_.

“Is there a reason you’re destroying the training dummies at,” Regis checked his watch. “Two o’clock in the morning?”

“Cor’s gay,” Clarus announced, throwing another swing at the dummy.

“Okay…and?” Regis asked bewilderedly. He knew that couldn’t be what had upset Clarus – his friend had known of his own bisexuality for years and never as much as batted an eyelid. He himself was slightly surprised by the news though – he’d always thought Cor was asexual; the young man had never seemed to take much of an interest in anyone.

“ _And_ ,” growled Clarus. “The kid’s been tying himself in knots trying to hide it from us and living in fear for _Six. Fucking. Years._ Because some asshole told him when he joined that same sex relationships got you kicked out of the Crownsguard!”

“What?!” demanded Regis, aghast.

“He’s been staying celibate deliberately,” Clarus raged on, delivering a blow that took his dummy’s head off, imagining it was that of Gaius Antonius. “Thought if he was never with anyone then no one would ever find out. I only found out tonight because I caught him kissing the Tenebraen ambassador’s aide in the gardens. I went to rib him afterwards because I thought hey, at least the kid’s getting some at last, and he absolutely freaked out. Promised it would never happen again, begged me not to tell you, swore he’d do whatever I told him as long as we didn’t send him away. Regis, he was fucking terrified! I’ve never seen him cry like that. He thought we were going to disown him!”

“Where is he?” Regis asked, urgently.

“Asleep on my couch upstairs,” Clarus replied. “He cried himself out so I told him to stay put for the night.” 

“You told him it was bullshit though, right?” Regis pressed. “That we wouldn’t care? Hell, I’d have a bit of a cheek if I did!”

“Yeah, I explained that to him,” Clarus said heavily, ceasing his assault on the dummy. “He never realised you were bi. Turns out the poor kid’s naïve as all hell when it comes to sex. I just feel so awful, Reg. Fuck, we were supposed to be looking after him and he’s been carrying that around since he was fifteen! Some brothers we’ve been!”

“Well destroying all the training equipment isn’t going to help,” Regis said practically. “Come on, let’s go back to your office. We can at least be there in case he wakes up.”

Cor was still sound asleep on Clarus’s couch when they re-entered his office. Helping themselves to some more of the Shield’s brandy, they made themselves comfortable in his desk chairs.

“Sometimes it’s easy to forget how young he is,” Regis mused. “I mean, realistically, he’s been in the guard since he was thirteen; I don’t suppose someone ever did sit down and have The Talk with him. That won’t have helped. I’ll speak to him at some point once he’s calmed down. At least that way, when he is ready to have sex, he should know what he’s doing and hopefully not get hurt. Did you see it was the Tenebraen aide he was with?”

“Yeah,” Clarus nodded. “The tall, thin blonde one.”

“Nice choice, Cor,” Regis grinned, leaning over to gently stroke the younger man’s hair. Cor gave a pleased hum in his sleep but otherwise didn't stir. “He was dishy! Just a shame you went clattering in like a behemoth before he got a decent kiss!”

“There’s a thought,” Clarus mused. “I’ve got an idea…”

***

When Cor woke up the next morning, his head absolutely pounding, it took him a minute to realise he was resting his head on someone’s knee. Blinking owlishly, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked up to find it was Regis, who was out cold. He must have joined them after Cor had fallen asleep.

Regis, who also liked men, who’d actually slept with men and would not judge Cor harshly any more than Clarus had done. He still felt slightly giddy with relief. Sitting up quietly, he shuddered when he thought of how Vidia would react when she found out he’d slept in the new suit. There were very few people alive who could truly scare Cor, but she was one of them!

Clarus was sleeping in the chair beside his desk, but the Shield stirred at the sound of Cor getting off the couch to stretch his stiff body.

“Hey kiddo, you look a lot better than last night,” Clarus said warmly. “I’m glad to see you smiling! How’re you feeling?”

“My head’s pounding,” Cor confessed. “But I’m feeling better. So much better. Thanks for letting me get it out last night, Clarus; I think I was half out of my head with panic!”

“You’re probably dehydrated,” Clarus replied. “Drained yourself out a bit last night. You remember what I said though; no more hiding. If you're stressing, come to us and tell us.”

Cor nodded and accepted the rib-cracking hug the Shield gave him. The groaning wince he gave as Clarus squeezed tighter woke their slumbering king.

“Clarus told me everything that happened last night, Cor,” Regis said quietly, once he was fully alert. “And I’m so sorry we never knew how much you were struggling. We’d have explained everything sooner if we had; we’d have told you that you had absolutely nothing to fear. I didn’t realise that you didn’t know I liked men too. I wish I’d been more clear about it.”

“It’s okay,” said Cor, his cheeks heating up. “I know now. I just…I was so sure I’d lose everything that I panicked.”

“I know Clarus already drummed it into you last night,” Regis told him. “But let me be clear, you are never going to lose us. Or your home here. There’s nothing you could possibly do to make that happen. Your our brother, and we love you, and that doesn’t change.”

It was incredible, Cor thought as Regis drew him into an embrace, how much could change in twelve hours. Last night he’d been sure he would have been disowned, rejected and cast away and yet here he was this morning, being hugged by both the most important people in his life and reminded of how important he was to them too.

 _A curse on Gaius Antonius_ , he thought darkly. _I could have been this content years ago if not for him!_

“Right, go get showered and changed,” Clarus ordered briskly. “Eat some breakfast – something decent as you didn’t have much last night. After that, I’ve got something I need you to do for me!”

“I’ve got training in a couple of…” Cor began.

“Nope, no you don’t,” Regis told him with a grin.

“Yes I do, I can’t just bunk off, I…”

“I’ve rearranged the roster,” Clarus informed him. “Since I inadvertently ruined your night with your nice blond friend last night, you are going to go and find him and make up for it.”

“You…seriously?” asked Cor, looking stunned before glancing between them. “And you don’t…”

“Cor, I swear to Shiva, if you ask us if we mind, I’ll put my foot up your ass!” Regis scolded him. “Trust me, if I wasn’t married, I’d race you to him. He’s gorgeous. Now get!”

Laughing delightedly, still looking a little shell-shocked, Cor gathered up his things and obediently hurried out the door. 

“Use protection, baby bro!” Clarus called after him.


	7. Indulgence

Showered, fed and dressed in the nicest Crownsguard tee he owned with a pair of dark jeans, Cor nervously knocked on the door to Florizel’s quarters several hours later.

“Master Leonis, do come in,” Florizel’s smile was dazzling as he opened the door and saw who was on the threshold. “It’s a pleasure to see you.”

“Um…I think after last night, you can call me Cor,” Cor joked nervously.

“Cor then,” Florizel conceded. “You seem relaxed. I take it things worked out last night?”

“They did,” Cor nodded and smiled. “It turns out I spent years worrying over something that didn’t matter at all. Someone once told me a lie that I should not have believed. My brothers didn’t mind, and I don’t lose my rank.”

“I’m glad,” Florizel said sincerely. “Truly. Now, what can I do for you today?”

“I…” Cor swallowed hard, enraptured by the warm blue gaze. He bit his lip. “I’m sorry for rushing off on you the way I did. I was hoping we could maybe pick up where we left off last night?”

“Mmm. I’d like that very much!” Florizel smiled, cupping his cheek gently, and leaned in to kiss him. More confident this time, Cor twined his arms around the blond’s neck and stepped closer of his own accord.

The kisses were languid and gentle, Cor taking care to savour each and every one of them. Florizel’s lips were soft and pliant, his tongue sliding pleasurably alongside Cor’s when he opened his mouth. He nipped teasingly at Cor’s bottom lip, his his hands warm and sure as they left trails of pleasure in their wake as they skirted along Cor’s body. 

Then, Florizel withdrew his lips from Cor’s and pressed them to the underside of his jaw, and then down his neck, using the merest hint of teeth to make Cor gasp pleasurably. The blond man caught his hands, entwined their fingers and then pinned the swordsman’s hands above his head before diving in for another round of slow, passionate kisses, pausing occasionally to share smiles and nuzzle their noses together.

Cor was hard and aching in his trousers, so aroused he could barely think straight. A slight movement of Florizel’s hips alerted him to the fact that the other man was in a similar state. The friction of their erections brushing made Cor whimper in the blond’s mouth, desperate for more. He wasn't sure exactly what it was he wanted, but something!

“This is your first time, isn’t it?” Florizel asked him, sliding his hand down to touch the bulge in Cor’s trousers. Cor nodded breathlessly, the sensation exquisite. No one had ever touched him there before. Gods, he hoped he didn’t come just from being touched like this! “Then how about I try something and if you don’t like it, you can tell me to stop?”

“Please!” Cor nodded again and shivered with excitement when he felt the aide unbutton his jeans. Slowly, tantalisingly, Florizel holding his gaze all the while, they were pushed down, along with his boxer briefs, and Cor’s cock sprang free.

“Gorgeous!” Florizel breathed and to Cor’s amazement, he sank to his knees, just like the man had done in that video all those years ago. Oh gods, he was going to suck him. “Remember, if you don’t like it, just say the word and I’ll stop. I want this to be good for you. You can hold on to my hair if you’d like.”

Then he put his mouth around him and Cor’s world narrowed to the velvety, wet heat of Florizel. He pinched himself sharply to stop him from coming immediately and buried his fingers in the man's silky golden hair so he had something to do with his hands.

Florizel lavished attention on the swollen tip, pushing Cor’s foreskin back so he could run his tongue over the sensitive underside and then flutter it over the slit. Cor’s head fell back against the wall with a helpless moan, panting like he was doing cardio training. He'd never known that anything could feel so good!

The aide began to bob his head, setting up a gentle rhythm and stars exploded behind Cor’s eyes. “Florizel, I can’t…” he babbled pleadingly, overcome with sensation. “I’m going to…”

“It’s all right, darling,” Florizel assured him, running a gentle hand up his inner thigh “I want to watch you come for me.”

He bent back to swirl his tongue around the head again and Cor exploded with a sob, shooting his release into the aide’s talented mouth, his legs shaking. He knew he’d come embarrassingly quickly but the experience was so overwhelming he could barely bring himself to regret it.

“Sorry,” he gasped. “I should have…”

“No need for apologies,” Florizel said, that charming smile dazzling him again as he wiped his lips and stood up. “That was your first time. I’m here for a full week before we have to return to Tenebrae – plenty of time to work on your endurance!”

“I…can I touch you?” Cor asked hesitantly, looking at the older man’s tented trousers. “I want to make you come too.”

“Of course you can,” Florizel unbuttoned his own trousers and shoved down his underwear. “Here, let me show you, darling.”

He took Cor’s hand and guided it down to his hardness, wrapping the swordsman’s fingers around his hot silky skin. Gently, he guided Cor's hand up once, twice, three times and then let go, relinquishing control.

Cor watched Florizel’s face, utterly enraptured, as he stroked the man’s cock. The pale cheekbones were stained with a pink blush, his blue eyes wild and bright, his hair rumpled and sweaty.

“Gods, Cor, that’s perfect!” the aide whimpered, biting his plump lower lip. “You feel so good.”

Cor kissed him again as he stroked, tasting the saltiness of his own release on Florizel’s tongue. And when Florizel climaxed, moaning into Cor’s mouth as his hips shuddered like pistons, Cor felt bold enough to life his hand up and lick the warm liquid coating his fingers.

Once they’d both cleaned up a little, they retreated to the bed in Florizel’s suite and lay tangled together naked, kissing blissfully for hours; touching, tasting and exploring. This, Cor thought, was what happiness felt like.


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue: very small as I can't actually write love scenes for squat!

What followed was, undoubtedly, the best week of Cor’s life; minus the _excruciatingly_ embarrassing hour he spent with Regis while the older man ran through the dos and don’ts of being with another man. Cor’s face got redder and redder as he talked of preparation and stretching and lube and condoms until he was sure his cheeks were hot enough to cook on! He'd practically sprinted out of the room the second Regis was finished, and had avoided the king for the rest of the day, much to Clarus's amusement.

Discounting that embarrassing episode, and the truly epic scolding he'd received from Vidia for daring to think he'd ever lose any of them, everything had been wonderful. Every spare moment they were free, he and Florizel spent in his room and the golden-haired aide introduced Cor to every manner of pleasure he could think of. In addition to sucking and stroking Cor’s cock, he brought the young swordsman to climax with his fingers and tongue in ways that were breathtakingly intimate and mind-numbingly blissful, wringing responses from his body he hadn't even known were possible.

Cor was eager to return the pleasure and used everything he learned back on Florizel, savouring the delightful moans and whimpers he was able to draw from that melodious voice, the way the man would climax with Cor’s name on his lips. He knew he was falling hard and fast, that they only had a week, but he let himself live in the moment for once and enjoy every second to the utmost.

The week melted away and on their last night together, before Florizel’s departure for Tenebrae the next day, they made love at last.

After eating a wonderful dinner and watching the moon rise, trading tender kisses all the while, they retired to bed and Florizel, the only one with any experience, took the lead. He stretched Cor with teasing, languid slowness until the younger man was only semi-coherent and desperate for more. Then, finally, he eased his way inside him.

Cor had thought he’d split in two at first, legs quaking at the intrusion. Even with all the preparation they’d gone through, it burned and stung. He felt too full, too stretched and his erection flagged a little. Florizel paused, hands skirting down Cor’s sides comfortingly, and distracted him with deep kisses and soft caresses until his body had grown use the intrusion. Only when Cor was relaxed and comfortable again, did he move.

It was slow and gentle, not the frenzied rutting Cor had seen in porn when he’d worked up the courage to look. Florizel rolled his hips slowly, his length sliding in and out of Cor with tender care. Now that the pain had gone, it was exquisite. Every time the head of Florizel’s cock grazed his sweet spot, stars danced behind Cor’s eyes and he shook with the effort not to explode too soon. He peppered his lover’s neck with kisses, enjoying the whimpers he wrung from the diplomat. It was too perfect, too wonderful and he didn’t want it to be over. He wrapped his legs around Florize's waist and their bodies moved in unison, glistening with sweat and casting a single shadow on the bedroom wall; joined as they were at groin and mouth.

Dancing on the edge of ecstasy, Cor couldn’t control the moans that spilled so liberally from his lips into Florizel's. His every nerve was on fire. And when the diplomat grabbed his hips to change the angle, speeding up, it all became too much. Bliss swept over him like a tidal wave and he choked Florizel’s name like a prayer as he shot his seed, warm and pulsing, between their stomachs. The clenching of his muscles tipped Florizel over too and Cor watched enthralled as the blond man gasped and groaned, hips pumping a last few staccato thrusts into Cor.

For several long moments, they just lay together, panting in a haze of post-coital delight. Then Florizel withdrew with care to allow them discard the condom, shower together – which consisted of far more kissing than washing and another orgasm for each of them – before collapsing into Florizel’s bed, sated and sleepy.

“You’ll keep in touch with me, won’t you?” Florizel asked suddenly, when they’d cuddled up together. “When I leave tomorrow?”

Cor reached up to cup the man’s neck, drawing him down into a long kiss, full of heated promise. “Try and stop me,” he smiled.


End file.
